I think I have insomnia.. 

Every parent waits for the day that their baby finally ‘sleeps’. Of course all babies sleep, what I mean by this is you put them down at bedtime and don’t hear a peep out of them until morning.. bliss! Well I did my time and waited a whole 15 months for this day. At first I thought it was a fluke, but it’s been almost two months and my monkey has ‘slept’ ever since. 

And boy is it nice! So much so, that you forget all the sleepless nights, the every two hour wake ups, the 5am starts, the evenings where your forever putting your baby back to sleep and overall the relentlessness and sleep deprivation! Okay, well maybe I haven’t forgotten it totally, but somehow you forget just how hard it really was.

So now that my baby sleeps, I have a new problem.. I CANT sleep! Typical. Well I fall asleep just fine, but I wake multiple times at night, for a glass of water, to use the loo, because the baby is kicking, or because I can’t get comfy (despite the pregnancy pillow that is taking over my bed). And atleast once a night, usually around 3-4am I cannot go back to sleep for 1, sometimes 2 hours. Not even my trusty rain and thunder sleep music works, which has been a godsend these last 17 months. If your having issues going back to sleep after the relentless night feeds, try it! It used to work wonders for me! 

So anyway, I lie awake for AGES, thinking and overthinking, replaying my day, or thinking about alllllll the things I need to do, and the most annoying one, thinking about work and my ever growing todo list. Apart from pregnancy, I blame work for my inability to sleep. Thank god I only have two short months left of work, before another little monkey arrives and I actually have no sleep for the forseeeable future again 😂😂. 

Last night I woke at 4am and did not sleep again until gone 5.30am, only to be woken at 6.30am! And typically, my little monkey didn’t wake until 8am so we were late for nursery. Luckily it’s my morning off and I am not budging from the sofa until it’s time to collect him again. 

Happy Tuesday everyone! 

Maybe I need an adult version of one of these.. 

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We love Fridays..

I love Fridays! Even though I am currently a ‘stay at home mum’ and apparently everyday is Friday. 

I love Fridays because, on Fridays we go swimming. I like  seeing my monkey splashing around in the water, he loves it and it makes me happy! 

I still get happy about the weekend, as it means we get to spend quality time with all our family and friends. So yeah, even though everyday is a holiday (yeah right) for me, we still live for Fridays and the weekend. But why is it that every single Friday, my little man decides that he does not want to nap on time and therefore I have to wake him up for swimming and rush him home straight after for his next nap. 

Today, it took almost two hours for him to have his morning nap, I kept finding him blowing raspberries to himself in his cot! He has finally fallen asleep and in exactly 36 minutes I will need to wake him up and will then have fifteen minutes to get him ready for swimming.. Being a mum has taught me to do everything super super quick!

Happy Friday everyone.. 

   
 

The B word.. 

The B word I am referring to here is not a nasty swear word that is too harsh to write out loud.. b is for breastfeeding. I feel that society has made me too ashamed to talk about it, or rather feel proud that I am still breastfeeding my 8 month old baby, having never chosen to give him even an ounce of formula. 

And by society I don’t necessarily mean random strangers, manufacturers or the media, I’m talking about friends, relatives and what the heck even the health visitor patronised me for still wanting to breastfeed! I don’t ram my opinions on breastfeeding versus formula on others, so why is it so normal for people to devalue breastfeeding and openly pass judgement on me! In my experience, the biggest culprits are those who have chosen not to breastfeed. 

I often hear others proudly boasting about how easy motherhood is for them, how easily their babies sleep at night, and how they’ve heard breastfeeding gives you saggy boobs (LOL). I usually sit there quietly and nod, but not anymore.. The next person to make a comment in front of me is going to get it.. 😂😂. In reality I wouldn’t say anything, because, well because that’s not me, and also what happened to women supporting each other. Now I understand the realities of motherhood I would never EVER question another mothers choice.

I know how easy my life would be if anyone could give my baby a bottle and I could just swan around like I did before, and I know I’d get more uninterrupted sleep if i gave my baby up formula.. But guess what, I chose to be a mum, so quite frankly I feel it would be selfish of me to deprive my baby of what is 100% natural. I think it’s high time us breastfeeding mums were no longer made to feel like we had to justify our choices. 

Don’t get me wrong, I know many mothers who would love to breastfeed but couldn’t, and I also get that some people’s personal situations may impact their decision to breastfeed. So I am in no way trying to offend anybody as I don’t think everybody who doesn’t breastfeed is evil or selfish, I’m just sticking up for me and my choice to give my baby what I feel is the best I can.

Another favourite is being questioned on how long I intend to breastfeed for, well the answer is none of your business! I don’t ask you how long you wish to feed your baby, or what brand of milk you have selected for your baby, so next time someone asks me this, then expect me to ask you an equally stupid question in return. 

And yes, I get that me breastfeeding can be an inconvience to people, if it means I can’t attend a certain event, have to leave something early, or provisions have to be made for me. Or if me breastfeeding means I can’t leave him alone with people and you know it’s an inconvience as you’d really like to do things with him too, but here’s another shocker.. I don’t care. I’m happy to miss out on these things, and my babies needs come first and if this means I’m anti social for a couple of years or you have to wait a little longer to get some quality time with my munchkin then so be it. 

And I also get how me breastfeeding him makes him more dependant on me. If I can cope with my baby only wanting me there when he sleeps, why can’t you? If another person asks me if they can attempt to put him to sleep/ back to sleep I might explode! He doesn’t want anyone else to do it except me, believe me we have tried! He may be dependant on me, but he is not clingy, he loves strangers and new people, and he is the most content baby I know, so we must be doing something right. 

So from now on I am going to be more openly proud of the amazing thing I am doing for my baby. I have fed him in the most natural way for 8 months so far, and it really is a pretty amazing thing. 

 

It happened…

Sooo, just as I dreaded, not long after I posted my last update, my little bear started fighting his naps, and for the last week or so I’ve been giving him a hand in getting to sleep. 

He will not feed (still EBF) unless tired or sleepy, otherwise he is distracted by everything else around him. And so, he is not feeding much in the day, but is making up for it at night. Recently, he is up every 2-3 hours at night, which he had NEVER done 😂😂😂. 

He is also teething which I think may be impacting his sleep, so I am just going to go with it for now, and pray everything goes back to normal soon. We’re getting better the last few days/ nights so I may start to be strict again soon. 

I just knew as soon as I uploaded my last post, that I was speaking prematurely and things would go back to normal. That will teach me to speak too soon! 

Six months young..

Six months ago today at 1.01pm, my little munchkin flew out of me (quite literally). I can’t believe that he is now six months old, and has gone from a teeny tiny bundle (a beautiful one mind), that would just sleep, cry (or should I say SCREAM) and feed, to a lovely bubbly little human who is just so happy and cheeky.

He really does have a lovely little personality already, and he certainly knows how to get his own way, and because he is just so cute, it’s hard not to give in. I really wish I could press pause sometimes and properly take everything in. There’s so much I want to do but just not enough hours in the day (even though we’re up from 5.30am everyday 😂😂).

This last month has been all about getting my munchkin to self soothe himself to sleep, which he is doing brilliantly (he still tests me though). And I’m pleased we have not had to leave him to cry himself to sleep whatsoever. I say we, but let’s face it I mean ‘I’. The husband doesn’t get involved with bedtime, night wakings or naptime.. Lucky him!

Although we’ve tackled getting Sami to sleep, for the last 2 months or so, his sleep patterns have changed considerably, and the amount of night wakings has increased SO SO much. It’s safe to say I am insanely sleep deprived, I don’t even know how I am functioning. I long to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time, and right now am jealous of everyone around me who gets that and more (a lot more).

It’s been way too long, and being this sleep deprived can make you irritable, short tempered and generally moody. Thankfully, I have an understanding husband and mother, (the people who spend the most time with me) who just ignore it and let me be. I often can’t go back to sleep after being woken, and am just waiting for the next waking (for hours). I honestly have so much love and respect for all mums out there. You really don’t appreciate what it’s like until you’ve been through it.

Anyway, enough of that. Even though the last month has been solely focused on Sami’s sleep and nap times (I don’t go out for very long in the day as want him to have all of his naps at home while he is still learning to self soothe), I feel that six months old is full of exciting firsts and new experiences. Here are ours:

  • Sami tried his first food threedays ago, puréed carrot, which he loved. He hated puréed potato the next day, and loved sweet potato on day 3. I am loosely following Annabel Karmel’s weaning guidance, and have a couple of her books. I will let you know how we get on.
  • Sami moved into his ‘big baby’ cot three weeks ago (a little early but he was ready and it’s actually helped with naptime tremendously. He also moved into his own room a little early, at just before five months. It has helped us both as we are both light sleepers and I would often wake him getting into bed and getting up to use the loo.
  • We will be saying goodbye to Sami’s carrycot base on his bugaboo, and he will be forward facing which I’m so excited about. He loves going for walks and we often go on very very long ones. He will be able to see so much more :).
  • Sami’s high chair arrived today, and I can’t wait for him to join us at meal times, as we continue to experiment with flavours and textures.
  • Sami’s babble game is now strong, and he is experimenting with sounds. I am so impressed with all of the different sounds he is trying to say. My personal favourites are ‘mama’ and ‘dada’. I’m not sure wether he knows what he is saying, but he often makes these sounds when in his cot trying to sleep and wants us to come.
  • We are so delighted and excited with the fabulous news that Sami will have a little cousin- due June 2016. Exactly one year younger than Sami. I have grown up with a sister and cousins of similar ages, and I can’t tell you how valuable this has been for me. I am overjoyed that Sami will experience this, and I just can’t wait to welcome my nephew/ niece.

All in all its been a very eventful month, I feel like he is growing so much and learning so much and I’m just so excited to see how he develops further. He is worth all the sleepless nights, and lack of social life. I literally devout my time to him 24/7, but he is so worth it, and he is such a happy baby, I think he knows that he is loved so much.

I will leave you with some pictures of the finished nursery 😄